I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
