great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize