The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
