Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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