Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize