think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
