the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
