So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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