He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
