i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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