Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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