I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
