you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
