if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
