I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
