I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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