i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize