how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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