Someone shit on the floor
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
