i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
