She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
