So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
People in love make me want to vomit
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
