Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
