And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
