foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
