i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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