Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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