worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
