she looked like the before picture.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
