You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
