5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize