love makes seman taste better
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
