Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
