is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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