the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
