Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
