the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
