did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
