i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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