You're completely useless in the revolution.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
