I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
