My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I touched a dick in church today
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
