I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
