Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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