Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
