We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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