he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
