So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The Olympian is in my bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
