I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
