Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
