My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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