and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
