People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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