stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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