Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want her autograph on my taint
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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