'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
